Jon & Kate, Minus Two

Our weekends are crazy. Crazier than yours, I'm sure. In fact I'll challenge you to a busyness-duel anytime. Here was my 48 hours: This weekend our oldest child had a baseball tournament, and a basketball camp. Our middle child had two All-Star scrimmages. I had men's prayer breakfast, three weekend church services, laundry help, yard work, a date with my youngest (to Krispy Kreme). Our family stops one night to watch Marly and Me as a family. Somewhere in the mix, our personal friends called in a panic and asked if their 16 year old son could stay at our house for the weekend, since they were out of town, and the pre-arranged billet canceled on Friday. And all of this happened on Father's day weekend, which for us began at around 3pm. Meanwhile, I have two guy friends texting me about the demise of their marriages, and looking for some support. In addition, Sunday was our 18 year wedding anniversary, which we postponed celebrating till Monday, our day off together, since Sunday was church, Father's day, and sports. I slept somewhere in there, too.

Now it's Monday evening and Lisa and I just watched Jon & Kate's big announcement. In case you are unaware, try opening up your Facebook once in awhile, or watch the entertainment portion of the evening news anywhere, and you'll hear about it. The basic story of this reality show is around this couple, Jon and Kate, who at one time were happily married with twins. Then they got pregnant again, with sextuplets! That's six, for those of you from Cougar. So for the last few years, cameras have been in their lives, following their story and watching the chaos and joy unfold. They have become the darlings of family proponents and Christians alike, as they have held to their Christian roots and made church appearances.

But tonight, as we were celebrating 18 years, these two announce that they filed for divorce after 10 years.

I'm sad for them, but mostly for the kids. Jon, who will be referred to as the Idiot from here onward, said some dumb things on the show. The Idiot said he was doing this to be true, and to do what's best for him and the kids. Hey Idiot, your kids will for the rest of their lives say and feel that the truest thing and best thing for them would have been if you would have worked it out and stayed married to mom. He felt overwhelmed.

I get the overwhelmed thing, but I never have had a thought that I should walk away. I don't get my way all the time, but that's what love is: giving and doing what is best for the other person. I would love to see a reality show scene where the one on one interview goes something like this: "Yeah, well, I guess I just have to do what's best for her. I guess I had my teen years to find myself, so I don't have to go looking for it now. I took a vow, so I'll just have to be true to that."

I heard two great lines in the midst of this last crazy weekend that really will stay with me on into the future. The first was from Pastor Bob during his message to Fathers. "Sometimes as men, it just doesn't matter what you feel. You have a duty to do." Amen. The second nugget of relationship gold came in the hour-and-a-half of calm when we were watching Marly and Me, when they were discussing the reason for the longevity of their relationship. "Mend it. Don't end it." Amen, again.